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A guy must ask a girl’s dad first, then the guy must ask the girl, then the girl must say yes, then the couple can start seeing each other IN GROUPS (! If things go well for the first eight months or so, the couple may or may not be allowed to spend semi-unsupervised time together and possibly even (GASP! Once the young man has firmly established himself financially and is sufficiently godly, he can ask the girl to marry him. Both families, as well as lots of church members, must be involved in the entire process, from start to finish. There are so many variables in each relationship: the age of the couple, the spiritual maturity of the couple, whether or not both sets of parents are believers, how long the guy and girl have been a Christian, the ethnicity of the couple, and on and on.

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“The brothers can see how they treat mom and dad, or see whether they show the sisters respect,” Michelle says, adding that each brother has given Jessa their opinion of Ben. For the most part, Jim Bob and Michelle don’t chime in. Jim Bob describes a text where Jessa was asking Ben to call her on the phone and wrote: “Give me a ring when you get time.” At that point, dad texted back: “No rings yet.” (Jim Bob says he added a smiley face at the end.) The couple is allowed to talk on the phone privately for an hour each night. The Duggars ask their daughters and their beaus to set their own boundaries on the physical side, and to share those boundaries with them.It’s fun to be involved in the whole process in choosing it.” See an exclusive preview of the new season of TLC's "19 Kids & Counting," premiering April 1 (9 p.m.ET) on TLC, which will feature both Jill and Jessa's courtship experiences.In Jessa and Ben’s case, the couple decided to give each other hugs when they are greeting or saying goodbye, or posing for a picture.“But they have committed to waiting for the first kiss till marriage,” Jim Bob says.

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