Xkcd dating a librarian who is rob dyrdek dating right now

But we'll be out there barely an hour before they start in with "I'm tired" and "Don't you think it's time we head back? | I watched the scene in the restaurant for a full fifteen minutes hoping this would happen: | Man and woman talking, looking at a group of 2 men and a woman standing further away. I just want silly and entertaining on command now and then. | Hat Guy: A laughable claim, Mister Bond, perpetuated by overzealous teachers of science. | Although it caught me by surprise at the time, | looking back I understand why my senior | science fair project went over as badly as it did. The sheer number of experiences I could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here refreshing my inbox. | Man looks stunned, flies backward | Narrator: I can't do this. Gabe experiments with his art, always bold and fresh without trying to perform. | Man: Which act as lenses that deflect incoming cosmic rays, focusing them to strike the drive platter and flip the desired bit. ' Course, there's an Emacs command to do that. | : ) | Two smaller frames focus in on BLSK05's emoticon, implying rotation to show a smile and two open eyes. | Man at computer slouches in chair, dead, crossbones above his head | At the remote computer a large snake (basilisk) is looking at its screen | A man is standing next to a ball, a flash appears on the left side of the panel | | Another man comes in from the left, preparing to kick the ball | The other man kicks the ball into the first man's head | The first man is lying outside of the frame, second man points and laughs. | Second man is now standing next to the ball. | Second man: HAHAHAH | First man: ! * | From off-frame | | {{The strip above is looped around like a film strip, but a one-half-turn is put into the loop to make it a Mobius strip. | Girl: Look - I'm sure it's a cool project. | Two male characters stand at a blackboard. | | Man: High above the blogosphere, a gap opens in the tag clouds. The man is rubbing the woman's shoulders. | The Drake Equation: | N = R f_p n_e f_l f_i f_c L B_s | N: Number of communicating civilizations in our galaxy | n_e: Number of life-supporting planets per solar system | f_i: Probability that life on a planet becomes intelligent | B_s: Amount of bullshit you're willing to buy from Francis Drake | The female cousin crouches on the floor with the laptop on her lap. On the floor are several pieces of paper and a book. Woman is holding a an open envelope | Woman: We're so lucky to have each other. Red successfully cuts off Blue and then dies shortly thereafter. She is on the phone]] | Week Two: | Female cousin: It says my XORG is broken. | Hat Guy is standing next to a large badge which says FUCK Computational Lingustics | Woman: I'm sorry. | Man: But I can't move to California | Woman: Then I guess this is the end. | { A large rectangle subdivided into rectangles in a fractal pattern, most with a phrase or word inside | Hat Guy: And the dumbest thing about emo kids is that... I've met people through these services who CLAIM to like long walks on the beach. | From the makers of the Blogosphere, Blogocube, and Blogodrome comes | the Blogofractal | Mostly left to right from top-left corner | B stands beside A | Trip Master Monkey says | 118th Post!! Remember, raptors run at 10 m | s and they do not know fear. | Hat man holds his hand out toward the first man] | B: The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. | Hat man is holding his first and second fingers parallel and at an angle, and they are green. They're a class act, they know their audience, they know exactly what they're doing. | These cause momentary pockets of higher-pressure air to form, ... | A man and woman are in a bed together. | Hurricane Red and Hurricane Blue (which is a blue line) are playing a game of Tron, zipping in straight lines and right angles around Haiti, Jamaica, and Cuba. | The female cousin lies on her stomach with the laptop on the floor. | Man and woman are talking, and the man is walking away from the woman. | Person: I know you shouldn't feed the trolls, but sometimes they just provoke me to where I can't help replying. Narrator: When self-reference, irony, and meta-humor go too far | Narrator: A CAUTIONARY TALE | Man 1: This statement wouldn't be funny if not for irony! A forlorn male in a coat, a male with combed hair, a male with spiky hair and arms outstretched enthusiastically, a female with long hair and cornrows, a shorter female with stringy hair falling over her face, an enthusiastic female with arms raised in celebration with shorter hair, a male with short hair and a goatee, a female with curly hair wearing a dress, and a stern-looking man with flyaway hair. A pock-marked moon and a ringed planet are visible in the burgundy-coloured sky | Parents: talk to your kids about Linux... | So remember: if you want a collection you can count on, PIRATE IT. | (If you don't like this, demand DRM-free files) | We can start to see the corner of a darker circle in the lower right. | Man 1: That's a pretty boring answer. | Man 2: It's the least boring answer imaginable. | Oh God I'm so alone | Drawn during an unending NASA lecture. | inside a circle: | | ((The borders between the three panels on this line are cracking.)) | | have you seen those collections of historical pornography? | | did you know the first porn photo was bestial in Closer still, we can just see a huge sideways s and h. nature? | | Those letters are faded and mixed with a faded version of the next panel. | | A man and a woman are talking | | girls take boys away ... I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ... | A person is playing a video game, with Hat Guy standing behind him. | Woman: I worry that I'm just with you because it's familiar. I've known you for so long that I'd have to spend years with someone to build up this kind of connection | and I daren't let you go of you long enough to let that happen. | Person 2: Well, I can meet the plane at ten of six. | Person 2: I'll meet him at the stairs before the gate. It doesn't involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up. | Silence. | Person: Man, I suck at this game. | Beef: Well basically you got no chance as I see it these dudes are all lovers and fighters to the last | Beef: All sprung fully formed from the head of Sweet Sweetback | Beef: You are gonna stand out as the sort of dude who stays at home all night playing fleshlight tag | Ray: These words you got are crazy. | Beef: Uh huh about the fight I wasn't gonna tell you but how could you miss that I was setting you up | Ray: What? Beef looks sorry and Ray looks annoyed.]] | Silence. | Silence. | T-Rex: THINGS I AM UPPITY ABOUT: "They" as a third-person singular gender-free pronoun. | Dromiceiomimus: But isn't that terrible grammar? It's been in use that way for centuries, and its use is widely accepted! Is he no longer locked in perpetual war with the self-doubt that lurks in his subc- | Narrator: IN A WORLD WHERE THERE IS STILL A LAND BRIDGE BETWEEN ASIA AND NORTH AMERICA FOR SOME REASON: | T-Rex: -onscious? There's no real reason not to except snobbiness. In the morning, I tell myself I can't control my dreams, but there's a part of me that doesn't want them to stop. Then he's on his feet, he's in front of me, and I don't feel the electric jolt I expected as our hands meet. | The eight friends sitting in a row in a dark cinema. | My dad was always the one who taught me about science, but looking back, I'm starting to realize how much my nerdiness was influenced by my mom. | Seedless grapes: 75% tasty, 100% easy | Peaches: 100% tasty, 75% easy | Strawberries: 80% tasty, 75% easy | Blueberries: 70% tasty, 90% easy | Pears: 30% tasty, 75% easy | Green apples: 25% tasty, 80% easy | Seeded grapes: 75% tasty, 10% easy | Cherries: 30% tasty, 40% easy | Plums: 10% tasty, 60% easy | Red apples: 5% untasty, 80% easy | Bananas: 10% untasty, 10% easy | Watermelons: 10% tasty, 10% difficult | Tomatoes: 60% untasty, 20% easy | Pineapples: 50% tasty, 100% difficult | Oranges: 40% untasty, 50% difficult | Lemons: 100% untasty, 10% difficult | Pomegranates: 10% untasty, 90% difficult | Grapefruit: 90% untasty, 80% difficult | Voice: Hey, I just got home from the party | Figure: The one with the IRC folks? The X-axis goes from "easy" on the right to "difficult" on the left.]] | | Figure holding balloon; Balloon gets caught in ceiling fan; Figure holds on and is pulled up | My Hobby: | Pausing in-store music for a split second and watching the ex-marching band kids stumble.

||

But we'll be out there barely an hour before they start in with "I'm tired" and "Don't you think it's time we head back? | I watched the scene in the restaurant for a full fifteen minutes hoping this would happen: | Man and woman talking, looking at a group of 2 men and a woman standing further away. I just want silly and entertaining on command now and then. | Hat Guy: A laughable claim, Mister Bond, perpetuated by overzealous teachers of science. | Although it caught me by surprise at the time, | looking back I understand why my senior | science fair project went over as badly as it did. The sheer number of experiences I could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here refreshing my inbox. | Man looks stunned, flies backward | First man: Wait, what does that gesture even mean? The next two panels are just text.]] | Narrator: I can't do this. Gabe experiments with his art, always bold and fresh without trying to perform. | Man: Which act as lenses that deflect incoming cosmic rays, focusing them to strike the drive platter and flip the desired bit. ' Course, there's an Emacs command to do that. | : ) | Two smaller frames focus in on BLSK05's emoticon, implying rotation to show a smile and two open eyes. | Man at computer slouches in chair, dead, crossbones above his head | At the remote computer a large snake (basilisk) is looking at its screen | A man is standing next to a ball, a flash appears on the left side of the panel | | Another man comes in from the left, preparing to kick the ball | The other man kicks the ball into the first man's head | The first man is lying outside of the frame, second man points and laughs. | Second man is now standing next to the ball. | Second man: HAHAHAH | First man: ! * | From off-frame | | {{The strip above is looped around like a film strip, but a one-half-turn is put into the loop to make it a Mobius strip. | Girl: Look - I'm sure it's a cool project. | Two male characters stand at a blackboard. | | Man: High above the blogosphere, a gap opens in the tag clouds. The man is rubbing the woman's shoulders. | The Drake Equation: | N = R f_p n_e f_l f_i f_c L B_s | N: Number of communicating civilizations in our galaxy | n_e: Number of life-supporting planets per solar system | f_i: Probability that life on a planet becomes intelligent | B_s: Amount of bullshit you're willing to buy from Francis Drake | The female cousin crouches on the floor with the laptop on her lap. On the floor are several pieces of paper and a book. Woman is holding a an open envelope | Woman: We're so lucky to have each other. Red successfully cuts off Blue and then dies shortly thereafter. She is on the phone]] | Week Two: | Female cousin: It says my XORG is broken. | Hat Guy is standing next to a large badge which says FUCK Computational Lingustics | Woman: I'm sorry. | Man: But I can't move to California | Woman: Then I guess this is the end.

| { A large rectangle subdivided into rectangles in a fractal pattern, most with a phrase or word inside | Hat Guy: And the dumbest thing about emo kids is that... I've met people through these services who CLAIM to like long walks on the beach. | From the makers of the Blogosphere, Blogocube, and Blogodrome comes | the Blogofractal | Mostly left to right from top-left corner | B stands beside A | Trip Master Monkey says | 118th Post!! Remember, raptors run at 10 m | s and they do not know fear. | Hat man holds his hand out toward the first man] | B: The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. | Hat man is holding his first and second fingers parallel and at an angle, and they are green. They're a class act, they know their audience, they know exactly what they're doing. | These cause momentary pockets of higher-pressure air to form, ... | A man and woman are in a bed together. | Hurricane Red and Hurricane Blue (which is a blue line) are playing a game of Tron, zipping in straight lines and right angles around Haiti, Jamaica, and Cuba. | The female cousin lies on her stomach with the laptop on the floor. | Man and woman are talking, and the man is walking away from the woman. | Person: I know you shouldn't feed the trolls, but sometimes they just provoke me to where I can't help replying.

| Parents: talk to your kids about Linux... | So remember: if you want a collection you can count on, PIRATE IT. | (If you don't like this, demand DRM-free files) |

| A person is talking to someone over the phone. | Second man: Over there, next to your regular one. | Two people standing | Phone: Do you think I could mail a running chainsaw to someone? | Second boy pulls a large super soaker from a drawer | Person 1: Are you coming to dinner? | "Straight cast" starts at zero for an all male cast, peaks at 50 | 50 cast makeup, and then drops to zero again for an all female cast. That's how I got kicked out of the ACM in college. | A man with much facial hair is sleeping on a bed. | Sometimes I forget how to do small talk. | Stick Figure Man: My God | Stick Figure Man: It's full of 'car's | Speaker: The patterns and metapatterns danced. | Suddenly, two ninjas jump through the skylight. | A note reads: 42.39561 -71.13051 2007 09 23 14 38 00 | Ninja 1: Richard Stallman! | Chat: Haha Man in Red Cape and Goggles: Hey, it worked! Did bloggers really wear red capes and goggles and blog from high-altitude balloons? The memory of the apocalypse faded to mere fancy, but the numbers burned bright in my mind. | Second panel consists of second character's thought cloud in which the second character points to an easel mounted diagram of the floor tile pattern | They were coordinates. | Hat Guy is standing on an advancing glacier | Second, thinking: Well, my instinct is to step only on black tiles, but they're too far apart. | Narrator: There were no sound of stirring save the click of a mouse.

You don't seriously think they could let your ferret fly, right? These immigrants should have to learn English when they come here. | Person 1 dances along with the music | Hat Guy: Dear Sony, Microsoft, the MPAA, the RIAA, and Apple: Let's make a deal. I helped make sure my parents got together and helped my dad to be less of a loser. | I held you tight against the dark and said that I would always come for you. You were torn from my arms and vanished from this world. But I've been watching like 30 seconds and haven't seen any beat frequency! | Person in Street: You know, from the beat frequency you can tell the difference in timing of the two signals. | Character 2: So you're going to hack the census bureau and change the number of reported deaths? | Man in black hat: Yeah, but it would all be with the kind of people who learn Lojban. Have you read about Google HQ? | Man, I ain't going to be chained down in no corporate idea factory! | Comic alt text: Later we'll dress up like Big Oil thugs and jump Ralph Nader. | Stereo: Oh Mickey, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey! Each of the 256 numbered blocks represents one | 8 subnet (containing all IPs that start with that number). | Woman talking to boy on swing-set Man enters darkened room, where woman waits by window. | Woman: You know, at the peak of a big swing, you become weightless. | Man and woman embrace... | ..get into bed. | | A heart appears over the supine bodies | Closeup of the man on the man sitting at the computer | Woman: Ohh... | | Narrator's Subconscious: Knight to G-4 | | Narrator: That's not even a legal move. I loved how they turned information and patterns into physical strength. | The man is alone holding onto the string | Standing Man: And a lock invites you to try and open it. | A man is standing in the middle of the produce aisle in a supermarket, holding a tube of K-Y Jelly in one hand, the other on his chin.

| Woman: Yeah | Man: When you go to live somewhere, you learn the language they speak there. You stop trying to tell me where, when, and how I play my movies and music, and I won't crush your homes under my inexorably advancing wall of ice. | Narrator: It's been over a decade since Jurassic Park opened, and I still size up buildings for their potential as shelter against velociraptor attacks. | Phone: Well, did you at least get that package of time I sent you? They think just 'cause they've got a nice building and laid back culture, I'm gonna want to come in all day long and work on fascinating problems with the smartest people in the world. | Person 1 indicates stereo | Person 1: I'm telling you, listen right here to the sets of rising notes following the opening section. | A person with right arm extended. | Person 1: And then right here, the transition into the chorus. The upper left section shows the blocks sold directly to corporations and coverments in the 1990's before the RIRs took over allocation. I wrote a command to jiggle the mouse pointer every couple minutes to keep it from going idle. Linux has problems, but it gives you the tools to deal with them - and save your date! | Thought bubble from boy on swing-set | Body Rule (males only): Point your right arm along the first vector and your legs along the second, then watch some porn. A mother and two children sit at one table; a man in a white lab coat sits in another.]] | Title: THE TRIBULATIONS of BILL NYE | Mother: Hey, kids, see how the ice cracks and pops in your water? | Mother: *AHEM* I said, I wonder what -- | Bill Nye: Know what? | Boy: Check it out-- I got a GPS receiver for Christmas! | Girl: Let's take our latitude & longitdue, put our birthdays after the decimal points, then go to that spot and make out. | Boy swings higher and higher. The stall sidewalll next to him is covered in graffiti--"you suck," "Mike sucks cock," "Cunt," "dane was here" stuck through and "dane is a fag" written under it. The signs read "Bananas" "Apples" "Oranges" and "Zucchini" from left to right. | Two people are talking to each other | MY HOBBY: Standing in the supermarket's produce section holding a tube of K-Y Jelly, looking contemplative.

| Person 2: Yeah, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and then maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience. | The two curves intersect at two points close to the middle.]] | | Person: Hey, check it out: e^pi-pi is 19.999099979. | Epilogue | First person: Hey! Syntax faded, and I swam in the purity of quantified conception. | Truly, this was the language from which the gods wrought the Universe. Your viral open source licenses have grown too powerful. So I'm letting myself walk on the tiles directly in line with the black ones, but that means that when we walk diagonally, I have to step in a pattern where... You'd make a wonderful dread pirate, Roberts | Pointing at a door | Elaine shared her ideas with Bram Cohen, who went on to develop Bit Torrent. Roberts spends her time developing for Ubuntu, and defacing the websites of people who make "your mom" jokes to her daughter. She joins communities, contributes code or comments, and moves on. | Hat Guy Timeline: He's locked in the basement. | Narrator: For 'twas just like a childhood Christmas except | Narrator: I'd forgotten the hours that normal folks slept.

| Person 1: Okay, cool. Floating in space with God appearing through a line of clouds | 1776 ; declaration of independence | 1979 ; jimmy carter attacked by giant swimming rabbit | 2007 ; present day | centered, bottom, title ; america must never forget When it came to eating strips of candy buttons, there were two main strategies. | Returns to situation in first panel | God: No, it's not. | Second man indicates something behind him. | Second: I'm not walking funny. And if, late at night, you point a streaming audio player at the right IP at the right time - you can hear her rock out.

||

| A person is talking to someone over the phone. | Second man: Over there, next to your regular one. | Two people standing | Phone: Do you think I could mail a running chainsaw to someone? | Second boy pulls a large super soaker from a drawer | Person 1: Are you coming to dinner? | "Straight cast" starts at zero for an all male cast, peaks at 50 | 50 cast makeup, and then drops to zero again for an all female cast. That's how I got kicked out of the ACM in college. | A man with much facial hair is sleeping on a bed. | Sometimes I forget how to do small talk. | Stick Figure Man: My God | Stick Figure Man: It's full of 'car's | Speaker: The patterns and metapatterns danced. | Suddenly, two ninjas jump through the skylight. | A note reads: 42.39561 -71.13051 2007 09 23 14 38 00 | Ninja 1: Richard Stallman! | Chat: Haha Man in Red Cape and Goggles: Hey, it worked! Did bloggers really wear red capes and goggles and blog from high-altitude balloons? The memory of the apocalypse faded to mere fancy, but the numbers burned bright in my mind. | Second panel consists of second character's thought cloud in which the second character points to an easel mounted diagram of the floor tile pattern | They were coordinates. | Hat Guy is standing on an advancing glacier | Second, thinking: Well, my instinct is to step only on black tiles, but they're too far apart. | Narrator: There were no sound of stirring save the click of a mouse. You don't seriously think they could let your ferret fly, right? These immigrants should have to learn English when they come here. | Person 1 dances along with the music | Hat Guy: Dear Sony, Microsoft, the MPAA, the RIAA, and Apple: Let's make a deal. I helped make sure my parents got together and helped my dad to be less of a loser. | I held you tight against the dark and said that I would always come for you. You were torn from my arms and vanished from this world. But I've been watching like 30 seconds and haven't seen any beat frequency! | Person in Street: You know, from the beat frequency you can tell the difference in timing of the two signals. | Character 2: So you're going to hack the census bureau and change the number of reported deaths? | Man in black hat: Yeah, but it would all be with the kind of people who learn Lojban. Have you read about Google HQ? | Man, I ain't going to be chained down in no corporate idea factory! | Comic alt text: Later we'll dress up like Big Oil thugs and jump Ralph Nader. | Stereo: Oh Mickey, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey! Each of the 256 numbered blocks represents one | 8 subnet (containing all IPs that start with that number). | Woman talking to boy on swing-set Man enters darkened room, where woman waits by window. | Woman: You know, at the peak of a big swing, you become weightless. | Man and woman embrace... | ..get into bed. | | A heart appears over the supine bodies | Closeup of the man on the man sitting at the computer | Woman: Ohh... | | Narrator's Subconscious: Knight to G-4 | | Narrator: That's not even a legal move. I loved how they turned information and patterns into physical strength. | The man is alone holding onto the string | Standing Man: And a lock invites you to try and open it. | A man is standing in the middle of the produce aisle in a supermarket, holding a tube of K-Y Jelly in one hand, the other on his chin. | Woman: Yeah | Man: When you go to live somewhere, you learn the language they speak there. You stop trying to tell me where, when, and how I play my movies and music, and I won't crush your homes under my inexorably advancing wall of ice. | Narrator: It's been over a decade since Jurassic Park opened, and I still size up buildings for their potential as shelter against velociraptor attacks. | Phone: Well, did you at least get that package of time I sent you? They think just 'cause they've got a nice building and laid back culture, I'm gonna want to come in all day long and work on fascinating problems with the smartest people in the world. | Person 1 indicates stereo | Person 1: I'm telling you, listen right here to the sets of rising notes following the opening section. | A person with right arm extended. | Person 1: And then right here, the transition into the chorus. The upper left section shows the blocks sold directly to corporations and coverments in the 1990's before the RIRs took over allocation. I wrote a command to jiggle the mouse pointer every couple minutes to keep it from going idle. Linux has problems, but it gives you the tools to deal with them - and save your date! | Thought bubble from boy on swing-set | Body Rule (males only): Point your right arm along the first vector and your legs along the second, then watch some porn. A mother and two children sit at one table; a man in a white lab coat sits in another.]] | Title: THE TRIBULATIONS of BILL NYE | Mother: Hey, kids, see how the ice cracks and pops in your water? | Mother: *AHEM* I said, I wonder what -- | Bill Nye: Know what? | Boy: Check it out-- I got a GPS receiver for Christmas! | Girl: Let's take our latitude & longitdue, put our birthdays after the decimal points, then go to that spot and make out. | Boy swings higher and higher. The stall sidewalll next to him is covered in graffiti--"you suck," "Mike sucks cock," "Cunt," "dane was here" stuck through and "dane is a fag" written under it. The signs read "Bananas" "Apples" "Oranges" and "Zucchini" from left to right. | Two people are talking to each other | MY HOBBY: Standing in the supermarket's produce section holding a tube of K-Y Jelly, looking contemplative. | Person 2: Yeah, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and then maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience. | The two curves intersect at two points close to the middle.]] | | Person: Hey, check it out: e^pi-pi is 19.999099979. | Epilogue | First person: Hey! Syntax faded, and I swam in the purity of quantified conception. | Truly, this was the language from which the gods wrought the Universe. Your viral open source licenses have grown too powerful. So I'm letting myself walk on the tiles directly in line with the black ones, but that means that when we walk diagonally, I have to step in a pattern where... You'd make a wonderful dread pirate, Roberts | Pointing at a door | Elaine shared her ideas with Bram Cohen, who went on to develop Bit Torrent. Roberts spends her time developing for Ubuntu, and defacing the websites of people who make "your mom" jokes to her daughter. She joins communities, contributes code or comments, and moves on. | Hat Guy Timeline: He's locked in the basement. | Narrator: For 'twas just like a childhood Christmas except | Narrator: I'd forgotten the hours that normal folks slept. | Person 1: Okay, cool. Floating in space with God appearing through a line of clouds | 1776 ; declaration of independence | 1979 ; jimmy carter attacked by giant swimming rabbit | 2007 ; present day | centered, bottom, title ; america must never forget When it came to eating strips of candy buttons, there were two main strategies. | Returns to situation in first panel | God: No, it's not. | Returns to situation in first panel | Second: I'm not walking funny. And if, late at night, you point a streaming audio player at the right IP at the right time - you can hear her rock out.

]]

Leave a Reply